img_1443Back in December, on New Year’s Eve, I did a tarot drawing, one card for each month. July drew The Knight of Swords.  The knight indicates a battle, one that must be fought but the knight can lead that contest to victory. However, the fight must be made. And that is accurate. There are three distinct battles for me to fight this month.

June was a tough month. My parent’s house was destroyed by an electrical fire. No one was hurt but it will be 4-6 months in reconstruction. That is super tough for my elderly parents. It is the house my father was born in and the house I grew up in.

RenderedImage Dealing with the aftermath of the loss of my childhood home is the first battle of July. Getting my parents settled and finding a way for them to take advantage of insurance paying for everything so they can totally remodel their house, make it easy to live in for the remainder of their days will be a victory. However, the road there is hard and my parents are not in great health. Frankie is super worried.

The second battle. My daughter is leaving New York to come here to go back to school and regroup. She is not sure if she will return to New York. She has taken location out of her dreams.

UjkgY2PHSai+iopraTBXTwShe wishes to work at something where she feels passion and purpose, wherever that may be. She has taken a “Women in Tech” scholarship to learn full-stack programming to open up her options for employment. While in school, she is going to live with me. She returns home in August.

To prepare I have donated all my oversized furniture and for the first time in my life, bought new furniture that will allow the space to work comfortable for two. This has felt invigorating but also like closing a chapter of my life again. Change is the only constant in life but it comes slow.

58344333290__BC7FC1A5-CCCB-41A6-B2F6-7C0017396758The third is handing my book over to my two beta readers. I am off this week to finish up the last revisions. I have such mixed feelings. It is a good book, I think. I hope. But it is done. It is time to let it fly.

When one book ends, another must begin. In my little world, Hell is a white blank page. So much possibility for me to wield or destroy. Filling the first pages of a first draft feels like weeding through a field of razor sharp vines, a death by a thousand cuts. Once I get there, it is paradise and when I end a book, I hold paradise for a moment. And then I return right back into Hell.  So into the brink we go in a too hot July.



2 thoughts

  1. Oh my gosh, EM! June has been such a harbinger of change. Wow.

    Firstly, I’m so sorry about your family home, but incredibly relieved to know your parents are ok. You know, it’s brilliant you’ve seen the silver lining, that the rebuild can ensure things are more comfortable for your aging parents, but I know how heartbreaking the loss must be.

    And your daughter is coming home for a while. I know how you’ve missed her terribly so that will be wonderful for you. Reading between the lines I guess things in NY weren’t all she hoped. With luck the course she is doing will lead to better things and she’ll find a job she can be passionate about.

    Finally, super (((hugs))) on your ms flitting its way to beta readers this month. I hope they love it and leave you with little to do except submit. I’m aiming to be at beta reader stage in October, but we’ll see how it goes. I’m going to force myself to be patient though, and once I’ve edited from betas I want to let it sit for a month before one last edit – this means I am aiming for about April next year to go on submission.

    July is going to be a huge month for you, but I hope it is a good one.


    1. AJ, I love hearing from you. I let my book rest a while as well so your idea to let things sit is a good one. You only have one shot at a debut so enjoy the time as much as possible. And take the time. You won’t have that time for the books that come after. Boy, writing on spec – that’ll be a new adventure.

      By the way, I loved your flash piece for Janet’s last contest. Brilliant. I can never come up with decent flash pieces anymore. Too much else jumping around in my head.


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