E.M. Goldsmith
Well, we are six months into 2019. The 6th card I drew for the year is The Emperor. This is a card that portends guidance, protection, and advice from a father figure.
A Little Non-Feminist Feminist Rant
I have been thinking about men in society a lot given my background and the current political climate where awful phrases like “toxic masculinity” are tossed about.
I am an independent woman who has worked in a male-dominated field (software engineering) my entire adult life. I raised a daughter on my own. I have no male partner in my life. I don’t want one. That has nothing to do with my gender. I am happy being single and was miserable married.
I remember being told to shut-up as a young girl because the men were talking. I was told I was not given a middle name because I could use my surname as a middle name when I got married. When I was coming up, the society around me screamed that as a woman, I literally had ZERO value if I did not get married.
So I get why so many women are pissed off at the “patriarchy”. It is an unhealthy environment that casts women as property for the sole purpose of sex and reproduction. For thousands of years of history, in all corners of the world, women have been less-valued than men. That must stop.
People matter. We all do. Regardless of gender, race, ideology. We matter, each and every one of us. We all make choices that lighten or darken the world. Some make no choices at all which allows the status quo to continue for good or ill. So I have no problem with the male in general. I even welcome the support, guidance, and protection of men. It is when they become tyrants we have a problem, but June brought the Emperor upright and not in reverse.
Moving On
I look forward to June. I have made great progress on the book. With the Champions League and the EPL on hiatus until August, I have less distractions from my final push to put this book to rest and get on with the next eleven. Yes, I started writing eleven other books during the last three years while writing this one. Another reason, this is taking so long.
The end of an Era
Game of Thrones came to an end in May 2019. Lots of fans were disappointed. The final season felt rushed to a conclusion that satisfied few. However, for myself, I think that it came to an end was what tore me up. Game of Thrones is undoubtable the greatest television show so far. It drew in millions of viewers, invested them in the complex and difficult characters that spoke so loudly to our humanity. While I will miss the show, miss trying to figure out what happens next, I so look forward the George RR Martin finishing his books. Let’s see which one of us gets there first. Shall we?
Miracles in May
A unseasonably hot May has ended after a series of triumph and a miracle. I wake to June with Liverpool as European Champions. Miracles do happen. Recall that when I entered May, Liverpool had a 3-0 deficit to cover in order to get to the Champions League final. They did so with a miracle at Anfield. I took a great deal of inspiration from that night.
May 7, 2019 is one of those days I will remember forever. Yes, I am obsessed with Liverpool and really the English Premier League. There is something there that men from literally every corner of the globe can come together, united by purpose, put their differences aside and create emotion like this. Note at the end of the evening, when Liverpool has done the impossible, the crowd singing to them and the players singing back to the crowd “You Will Never Walk Alone”. This is the stuff of hope and dreams.
It is already May. And here is the 5th card of my 2018 New Year’s Eve drawing.
I made a tarot drawing on New Year’s Eve 2018 for 2019 for the purpose of creating a mere twelve blog posts for the year.
Liverpool kept my spirits up in places of terrible darkness. More and more the bucket item of visiting Anfield for a Liverpool Premier League match moved higher up my list. Watching them play brings me joy like nothing else. There is something in that beautiful game where men from every imaginable background come together for a single purpose. I can’t quite hit on it, but there are answers there in this simple game.
I am marching through 2019 on the draw of 12 cards. In February, it was the Chariot. That pushed me further into my journey. My book, my body, my mentality, all of it pushed forward. Although, parts of the journey have proved to be painful. Still, I persevered. Now it is March.
I want to move back to the UK more than I can even express if only to be able to go to Anfield and watch my favorite footballers. Frankie is torn. She reminds me that my roots are still here.
I did a tarot drawing for 2019 on New Year’s Eve in 2018 as a way to concentrate on the upcoming year. In review, January we saw the Magician – a sign of new beginnings.
I have two weaknesses. Gummy bears and Liverpool FC. The worst the gummy bears do is expand my aging waist. I can live with that and I can keep writing. In fact, the sugary goodness of the little bears can push me through hard endeavors like a query or a synopsis. Oh how I despise writing a synopsis.
Liverpool FC, however, can distract me to the point that my book languishes in the background. How I wish they had a proper women’s team when I was coming along. I would have left school to play for them. How I envy these young women.
In years past, when they would lose, I would languish for days. It was so heartbreaking. Now, I get that way if they draw, but as long as they keep winning, my writing will flourish. The bit where my characters keep earning the names of various Liverpool players, well, that is not something I can control. Obsession being what it is. I love that football club. So if you know any Liverpool players or staff, tell them to keep winning. My writing career depends on it.
My writing efficiency would be increased tenfold if I would give up my obsession with EPL football and my lovely Liverpool. I wake to the day of the Liverpool vs Man City match. I worry. I have a book to finish and a poor finish for Liverpool could derail my entire day. I refer to Frankie the Pug’s thoughts regarding my favorite team.
